Everyday Conclusions: Curb Your Enthusiasm for the Ladies

If you look to much, you're lecherous. If you don't look enough, you don't appreciate, and no matter what, your appetite will never be satisfied.

Taking the tidbits I've gathered from the last fourteen months of study, I thought it prudent to make everyday conclusions I could apply practically and explain elegantly to enchanted dinner guests. For today's topic, I thought I'd cover something near and dear to my heart: Watching the girls in their summer dresses.

Now you see what happens when you give a simple person an education.

Is it acceptable for a man--particularly a married, committed man--to observe the beauty of the female form? In this question we specifically disassociate this activity with the pursuit of or fraternization with the object of attention; that's a much more involved topic that deserves a separate conversation. Instead, here we ponder only the benefit or detriment that is a result of this time-honored non-contact pastime.

Let's make an assumption right off the bat; men enjoy looking at feminine beauty. This assumption is important for a couple reasons. It tells us that:

• men do not enjoy looking at feminine hideousness, and, therefore
• men look because they find something beautiful.

Of course, this leads us to ask, "What is the appeal of the appealing woman?" I postulate that there are two subtypes of this appeal: the aesthetic and the practical.

In speaking of a woman's aesthetic appeal, it is important to note that this, under the scrutinizing eye, often wilts, falls apart, or slinks away, as love and photons are also known to do. We simply must enjoy it for what it is. In the same way that I gasp at a big, beautiful sky or radiate with energy on a warm autumn evening, I am compelled to contemplate a woman by a specific emotional appeal. I think this emotion could be the same that people often ascribe to the creation of La Gioconda: It is one which inspires and enchants--yes, enchantment is a perfect word to encapsulate this aesthetic appeal. The female beauty enchants me, the crisp autumn night invigorates me, and a grand, majestic sky humbles me.

Should man be humbled, invigorated, and enchanted? For the first two, I say yes, undoubtedly. There is a need for man to recognize his infinite smallness in relation to all space and matter, as well as a need for strength, courage, and diligence in order to persevere in the realization of this insignificance. The first two definitely have value in being.

Enchantment, however, is not so certain. That which is enchanting is charming; it is pleasant. Its nature attracts and delights us. As a result, here is as far as our universal definition can go. Many people actively seek pleasure as their sole reward in life and would deem this appeal as completely appropriate. Others would clearly separate earthly pleasures from those of a higher spiritual personal consciousness and may be divided as to the categorization of this pleasure. A hardy few eschew all pleasure, attraction and desire in the hope of attaining an enlightenment that is not distorted by limited human perception. For these, human enchantment would be a setback.

In short, the aesthetic appeal of a woman can be regarded as acceptable based on your preexisting life philosophy. If you do not have a life philosophy, you probably should be thinking about that instead of watching the view anyway, shouldn't you?

Now on to the second appeal, the one of a more practical nature. Instead of setting you to soar on a zephyr of euphoria, it leaves you firmly rooted to the ground, interested much more in action than concept. This is the reaction that many people are quick to describe as carnal, common, vulgar and base.

Coincidentally, it is also necessary and vital to human existence. If men did not succumb to this practical appeal, it would be hard to imagine the mating process, and subsequent reproduction process, going very far. Just to clarify, we're not talking about romance here--which is possibly an invented concept that men don't really relate to anyway. This is an acceptance of an intrinsic tendency to perpetuate life (a fatal flaw in some philosophies), a taxonomic duty to procreate and, at is most trivial essence, the fulfillment of sexual release.

So why such a negative connotation? Because an excessive catering to these whims has been justifiably equated to a lack of control. See above; there are things of a higher priority than sowing oats. There are those who place this at a higher value than is the social norm. As a result, most who find this attraction to be inappropriate do so because of this perceived licentiousness. In reality, the key to most sexual morality codes is not in right or wrong, but rather selective application.

An idea that can apply to both aesthetic and practical attraction, but more can be more acutely utilized as a guide here, is the effect our observations may have on those being observed. A wife may complain of a husband's lustful eye but, in reality, very much appreciates that habit when it is directed towards her. Conversely, she may enjoy her husband's practical attraction but find that those of his best mate leave her somewhat uncomfortable. There are similar delineations with regard to age, environment, and other factors that can give insight into whether we're infringing on someone else's pursuit of happiness.

Is there a switch that allows a man to turn this attraction on or off? Can man determine when it is prudent to activate it? And when it all boils down, what will become of that practical attraction? If you are keeping true to our scenario, maintaining this pastime as non-contact, It would seem that in almost every scenario this would result in only repression and frustration. In this case, I don't believe these feelings are of any value to the common man.

Perhaps, then, it would be best if the individual man calculated for himself a control which would provide restraint and an exercise in control without binding these natural attractions so tight that they force themselves improperly through the seams or over the brim of our cool composure. Keeping in mind the fruits of his actions, he should seed to create a pleasant interaction for all.

Ladies, have you thought of any formal approach to interaction with men?